Deep Thoughts

Despite my Jack Handy reference, I feel a need to have a serious post.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day thinking I was too busy to commerate the 9/11 anniversary. Sure, I heard the echos of the tributes in the Sunday sermon, NPR, at the football games, and on Facebook posts...but I was too distracted to soak it all in. That is, until I turned on the TV last night.

I caught a documentary I had seen back in 2001 - the one where the camera crew was actually in the towers that day, intending to document the life of FDNY fireman throughout a 9 month period. It took me a while to realize I had already seen it. I can't believe that I could even forget it. But somehow I did.

And that made me worry a little bit. How could that day seem like yesterday but at the same time seem so hazy to me? Then I started to reflect again on my personal experience with the day...and I realized how much I forgot about what I actually lived through.

So, in the interest of this blog being a way for me to remember - and for my kids to know their past - I figured I'd document what I experienced that day - in my past. At least before I forget even more.

We had been married for barely two months, and I hadn't yet been a full year at my job. I remember the exact spot I heard the first reports - in my car, driving down Pennsylvania, not quite to my office in downtown Indianapolis. I was listening to Bob & Tom, when Tom announced the news that a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers. Bob and Tom are never serious, so the tone made me realize quickly that something wasn't quite right. Nevertheless, it was one of those moments where, yeah, I was sad for those people in lower Manhattan, but it seemed like just another far-off news story.

After that my memory starts to fail me. I actually had to look up the times when everything occured to see how it paired with what I remember. So, the following is really my best guess. As I've been listening to the recounts this anniversary week, I've been wondering why I was so late to work. It was 8:48, after all, and I was still a newbie who arrived on time. It wasn't until today that I realized that Indiana was still on Central time.

When I got to my office on the 12th floor, the TVs were on as usual. Instead of market news on CNBC, the news coverage was on. I used to park about 4 blocks away to save money, so I can only assume that by the time I arrived, they were reporting that the second plane had already hit.

I checked some e-mails and thankfully received one from a friend who lived nearby. She was safe, but could see the smoke from her apartment. It was around this time that I remember hearing all the reports of people jumping from dozens of floors up. Yes, I was only on Floor 12, but that was still way higher than I wanted to be at that point. I wondered why my coworkers weren't more freaked out and was glad when I convinced at least one woman to join me in the coffee shop downstairs...on the ground floor at least.

The TV was on in the coffee shop. I'm not sure whether it was there that I heard about the Pentagon or if it was the tower collapse or both. Either way, it was enough to make me want to get the hell out of downtown. My coworker went back upstairs, but I told her that I was going home. I didn't care if I had work to do or not - I had a feeling that no work was going to be happening for anyone anyway.

By the time I logged in to my work e-mail from home, they had decided to let all of my coworkers leave. I was also able to exhale a little after hearing back from another friend who lived in Tribeca. She saw the first plane crash from her bedroom window. At that point, we had grown apart as friends, it was still numbing to me to think about my childhood friend in the middle of all of that, unable to even go back to her home for days. I still have the e-mails saved, even though we haven't corrsponded in years. She wrote to me in the coming weeks about returning to an empty neighborhood, except the National Guard troops and her authorized neighbors. A few weeks later, she told me about all the work it took to clean up dust from her floors, furniture, and clothes from when the towers fell.

I spent the rest of the day planted in front of the TV. By the time Jason got home from school, I felt like I had to get out and do something. I gave him the choice - go give blood or go to church. Thanks to his fear of blood and needles, we ended up at Our Lady of Mount Carmel that evening.

So, kids, that's where I was. Over the next ten years, I'm sure my memories will fade more. I'll look back on this antiquated medium called a blog and be thankful that I can at least have something to tell my 13 and 10 year old boys.

And I'll remember.

Oh, God.

As an addendum to the Miles-isms, I thought I'd add some of Miles' recent musings on God. We say the same set of prayers every night ("Now I lay me..."), but I can't really remember the last time we made it all the way through without a question. Some of them are truly sweet or profound. (Why does God make the dark? Does God have feet?)

I even get quotes from the Bible, mostly from the movies at day care Bible Time. Miles told me the big elaborate story of when Satan tests Jesus. Of course, it was in much simpler words (The Devil was mean to Jesus), but he got the details right (the desert, up on a high mountain, up on a really, really tall building aka the temple). Then he told me, "And Jesus said, 'Man cannot live on bread alone.'"

But the best, of course, are the funny ones. A personal favorite: "Why is his name Jesus? I think that's a funny name because it sounds like 'Cheesy'!" Also, "Does God make bathrooms?"

On to Marshall news. He's getting really close to sitting up on his own, but I wouldn't call it official yet. He's also showing lots of interest in us eating lately and tries to steal our food if he's sitting on our lap. We're sticking with the doc's advice and waiting until he turns 6 months to start solids. I'd like to say it's because we're giving his intestines time to mature, but we're really just lazy and like the fact that the doctor gave us a pass to wait a little longer.

He also is getting much more tolerant of baths and is really having fun splashing. Here's last night's post-bath pic:







Most of all, Marshall loves watching his big brother Miles. Nobody can make him laugh quite like Big Bro:

We're also still getting pumped for football season:



Miles even made me put these stickers on his face this morning before day care. Wonder what his teachers think of me?